Oh, it’s that time of the year! I love Halloween. So, I thought what better way to start off the weekend than by sharing 10 things that I’ve learned from watching horror movies. I am a big horror fan. I like it all: the old Lon Chaney movies, Vincent Price, the teen screams, all of it-Love it! I couldn’t say what my favorite movie is because it depends on what I feel like at the moment. Of course Halloween the 1978 version is at the top of my list this weekend. I actually watched it the other day and got freaked out by being in the house alone. You know that a movie is good when you are still scared during the day. Todays blood and gore films are hit or miss for me. The remakes- awful! Okay, so here we go.
I’ve learned that:
10. large breasted women usually get killed first and almost always naked. (Thank God for my small bosom!)
9. most killers are equal opportunity slashers. (It doesn’t matter if you are black, white, Asian or even handicapped-you are fresh meat!)
8. it’s always quite dark and understaffed in hospitals that are in these films.( I want to know where to find these hospitals. I spent a month on bedrest at the hospital and it was never dark in the hallway at night and let me tell you those nurses were quite chatty at night outside my door.)
7. most psychos prefer to use knifes, axes, hooks, but not guns. ( I suppose this is why they are called slasher films. I’m sure the NRA is thrilled about it.)
6. the only way to kill a zombie is by shooting them in the head. ( I thought this was just common sense, but my husband didn’t know this fact. You can also cut off their heads, basically if you are being chased by a zombie aim for the head!)
5. most killers have mommy issues. ( They always blame the moms! Think Jason Voorhees, all the killers from Scream, should I go on?)
4. you should never leave anyone for dead or just maimed. (IF the killer is down and you have the opportunity to slice and dice them do it! Everyone always walks away and the killer always comes back.)
3. running up the stairs unless you have an escape route planned is not a good idea. ( I suppose running down to the basement isn’t much better.)
2. being a babysitter is more dangerous than working at a convenient store. ( This is the main reason that I never became a babysitter. Well, that and I don’t like kids.)
1. the reason the virgin always survives is that she can focus on escaping. (The rest of the characters, usually teens, are either drunk, stoned or too horny to know what to do.)
I wish I could go on, but then you’d probably start thinking that I don’t have my head screwed on right. Have a Happy Halloween!