There was a time not so long ago when I was fabulous. I had this female version of the John Travolta strut going on and a look all my own. Well, eleven years into marriage and two kids later it hit me on this very morning that I had lost my mojo. I had become one of those people that still thought they were cool, but wasn’t. I realized all this while getting ready to attend a fashion preview event in Manhattan. As a blogger I was invited to cover the event at The Waldorf for a future post. I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror and realized that I had become a uniform wearing, cheap shoe owning, pushing a little more weight than I feel comfortable with mom.
It happened so slowly that I didn’t even realize it. It just snuck up on me. I began to panic at the thought of what I could possibly wear. It seems as if everything I owned was either outdated or had shrunk in storage. (Yes, shrunk in storage, that’s the story I’m sticking with now.) Somehow I was able to pull together an outfit suitable for the likes of the city from a few pieces I had purchased here and there. Again I stood in front of the mirror and I saw myself, I wasn’t gone, maybe just forgotten. I applied my make-up and sprayed myself with fragrance. ( not just any fragrance, but my signature scent Allure by Chanel) When I walked downstairs to grab my jacket I noticed it, I got my strut back as well. Could I do this everyday? Could I get dressed like this even if I have no place to go, but the school? I was awake and alive. I grabbed my zebra print bag and off to the city I went.
As I’m just about to get on the bridge I realize I have no money for the toll, I empty the change container all over my lap. I find $0.90 and need ten more. ( Yes, I was going to the city with no money. I had my card and was going to pick up cash there) The panic sets in again. I empty my purse, check under the car mats and finally discover one black dime. Success! I will make this train! When I arrive at the station I am unable to locate any metered parking. Finally I pull up to the garage and talk to the attendant who very nicely let me pull in and told me where I could find a spot despite the closed sign. They announce my train and I run down the stairs only to have the doors close right in my face. Yes, right in my face. Next train leaves in an hour. I walk to a coffee shop and order a coffee and egg sandwich, pondering should I really do this.
I finally make it to Grand Central and rush to catch a subway so I can make it to my appointment. I impress myself with my knowledge of the city. In a time long ago I actually lived there, but this is the first time in a awhile that I felt like I belonged here. I enter the Waldorf and try not to look as if I’m impressed. They don’t have to know that the Eco-lodge is more my speed these days. I arrive on the 36Th floor and find that I have a private appointment to view the Spring Fashion Collection. Who am I? I’m screaming inside with delight. They bring me a bottle of water and I begin to meet with the designers. This suite is as large as my home. I was treated like someone of great importance, not a booger wiping, homework helping, mommy chauffeur that I am on most days.
I laughed at myself in the bathroom, as I was tempted to steal the toiletries, but didn’t. I then went on to dine on some fine food, while having a real grown up conversation. I could still do this- I can talk about something else besides kids, school, or cleaning. I had put myself in a box and didn’t even it know it. I am still that person I was eleven years ago except I’m smarter and a much better person. Everyone needs to be reminded sometimes that they are valuable, that they are heard and that they have control over how they run their lives. Sometimes you just need a train ticket, good shoes and a bunch of strangers to remind you of it.