Boy, did I ever have a blast from the past this weekend. I remember avoiding the playground like the plague because I couldn’t stand the thought of being judged. I’m sure you’ve all felt it at sometime. There are the classic playground scenarios that play out over and over again: the coffee moms chatting away not watching their children throw sand in your kids face, the moms that have a huge amount of luggage with them because their children need to eat and drink constantly in the 30 minutes they are there and God forbid they don’t have the right snack with them. The germ a phobe mom chasing her kids with a bottle of antibacterial soap or wipes, yelling at them not to touch anything. Maybe you are even one of these mom, or have been at times, whatever. I’m talking today about bully mom. She knows exactly what your kid needs and how you should do it. It’s quite impressive because she just met you 10 minutes ago and doesn’t even know your name, but she can tell you how to raise your children.
I find that I seem to be a magnet for these bully moms. Maybe I look frazzled, I don’t think I do, but it must be something. Here is the latest exchange to occur:
BM ( Bully Mom) (ME-Me)
BM: Do you know what a bento box is?
ME: Yes, I actually..
BM: They are really useful in giving your kids healthy choices.
ME: Yes, I…. ( She is never going to let me finish is she?)
BM: My daughter only eats Peanut Butter and Jelly, but this way I can squeeze in a few other choices.
ME: My oldest eats everything, but my youngest is a picky eater. He only eats a jelly sandwich and fruit.
BM: (laughs) Well, jelly isn’t fruit! You are giving your son a sugar sandwich!
ME: I didn’t say jelly was a fruit. I said jelly sandwich and a fruit!
BM: You HAVE to put peanut butter on it. ( Then she walks away to talk to someone else)
Now, in my mind I wanted to go all nutritionist on her because I wanted to know exactly what kind of peanut butter and jelly and what type of bread she was using! I wanted to chase her down and say, ” Hey, I use 100% wheat bread and All Fruit spread, which is all fruit no added sugar or corn syrups! Then I thought, am I really getting this upset about a sandwich, get over it. Then she comes back and hears the tail end of conversation I was having with another mom. Here we go again:
BM: Oh your son doesn’t play sports, why not?
ME: He prefers reading. He doesn’t like sports.
BM: Well, my kids like to read and play sports. You know kids can do both!
ME: I didn’t say they couldn’t. He just prefers to read and do other activities.
BM: That’s different. Why don’t you make him play.
ME: Why would I make him play. He doesn’t like it. He’s uncoordinated and knows it. He doesn’t like to play sports.
BM: Well, if he’s not playing because he’s uncoordinated then you should make him play. He can’t avoid things that he’s not good at.
ME: I don’t see what value there would be in forcing a child to perform in an activity that he doesn’t like when he could be using his energy to develop other skills.
BM: No, you should make him. ( Then she walked away.)
Now, what I really wanted to say was, ” My son has been getting physical and occupational therapy since he was toddler. He runs, climbs, jumps and plays outdoors probably more than an average child. He isn’t able to coordinate movements like a typical child and sports are not a good fit for him. They would only cause damage to his self esteem. I listen to what my child tells me and forcing a behavior is not something I do when I parent. Thank you very much.
Have you been there? This is why I go to the playground at 9A.M. over the Summer, so I can avoid people. I guess you could call me loner mom.
What do you think?