Frank and I went to Poughkeepsie, in July 2005, to board a replica ship that was docked at Warayas Park. We took a walk across the Mid-Hudson Bridge to get there that day. Noah, our 18 month old, had stayed at our friend’s house and we had the day to ourselves. Once on board I became ill, something that was quite unlike me on a ship. I went on shore as Frank stayed aboard. I was pregnant. I just knew it. A test that night confirmed it. We were ecstatic. It had taken so long to become pregnant with Noah and we were going to wait until August to try again. What luck! It didn’t take too long for me to become very ill. I had morning sickness with Noah, but this was different. Frank assured me that I was being paranoid and that everything was fine. Maybe, I was having a girl and that’s why this was so different. I had an ultrasound at 8 weeks and it was normal. There had been a problem with Noah’s so I felt relieved to have this one be okay. I continued being ill and having an almost 2 year old that gave up naps long ago did not help the matter. Noah actually found my vomiting quite funny.
After an uneventful 5 week stay, (not even one contraction), I was ready for my surgery.
I thought we were in the clear when another battle began. He began losing weight quickly. They said that he was actually acting like a 34 or 35 week old baby as opposed to 36 weeks. He had problems sucking whether it is bottle or breast. He would just drift off to sleep. It seemed as if he was never awake. The NICU staff was encouraging and we kept breast and bottle feeding, but just changing the times and amounts.
(First time I held Owen)
He wasn’t going to be able to come home with me. I wasn’t leaving without him. I spent way too much time there to leave without my baby. I moved into a parent room outside the NICU. The lactation consultants brought in a breast pump for me and supplied me with bottles. My food service worker that I was telling you about supplied me with water and meal vouchers for the cafeteria. I cross-stitched and read magazines, but I stayed with my boy. Frank would come after work. Then he relieved me for a day so I could spend time with Noah alone before we brought Owen home. He spent a week in the NICU. It would have been longer, but the nurses convinced the doctor that we would take care of him fine. How could we not, I had surgery and walked down to the NICU everyday for every feeding. He was 4lbs 12oz when he came home.
I have no regrets. I had a horrible birth experience with Noah (share that later) and I was really looking forward to having a natural birth this time around, but it wasn’t in my cards. It doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t. I have a beautiful baby boy that if it wasn’t for a color Doppler ultrasound- he would not be alive today. What a loss that would have been for everyone! I wouldn’t change any of it. I don’t second guess myself when it comes to my boys anymore. And I definitely don’t need to explain my choices to anyone. I was as insecure as a parent could be before Owen. Something just clicked and now I feel as if I can finally enjoy myself as a mom. He has given me such a great gift.
Happy 4Th Birthday Baby!
Jessica Warrick says
wow that had to be really tough i was on bed rest for like 6 weeks but not at all with the chance of my baby dieing im glad it all worked out.
Marnie McKnight-Favell says
Milena, what a beautiful, moving story of your son and your journey. I'm completely choked up and so inspired by your intrepidness and strength.
Happy, happy birthday!
AprilC - GaFlyGirl says
this made me cry. that must have been so hard. It reminded me of my 6 yr old son's birth. He was born a little prematurely at 7 lbs 15 oz but had respitory distress at birth which was gone before they discharged me but then they wouldn't release him till he was eating like they wanted and at first they wouldn't let me hold him/nurse him and he got sick from the formula they were giving him, then after circumcision he grew lethargic and wouldn't drink and would grow tired quickly too, and got a small case of jaundice. I too slept at the hospital and was there night, and day.. so your story brought back memories that made me cry. my child never had risk of death staring him in the face though, and so I can't even imagine the fear you must have felt. So glad your little one was okay. Hope he had a fabulous 4th birthday!
lisa says
Your story is amazing and inspirational! I do not know or would even try to begin to imagine what having a baby that sick would like. Fortunately my babies were huge healthy over 8lb’ers. Your strength is amazing and your sons strength is inspirational-thank you so much for sharing your story. Happy Happy Birthday to your baby boy!!
I found you through the Alexa hop- And I am glad I did. I will surely be back. If you have a moment I hope you will stop by and say hi!
beyourbestmom says
Thank you so much- I’m off to check out your site-Thanks for stopping by again!
Antoinette Kaus says
<3 I remember seeing you at the Nicu! Kayla was born 2/2/2006, now we have 2 healthy first graders!
Rebecca Bryant says
wow what a story. i remember my son having to be in NICU it is really hard on a mom.
Reesa Lewandowski says
Happy Birthday to your little boy! What a birth story!
Kristin says
What a happy ending! Happy Birthday to your baby boy!
Emily says
It is amazing the strength us Women show when bringing our children into the world. My first child was distressing as well and I had an emergency c-section. But every single ounce of work was worth it. I am so happy everyone is doing great after your ordeal!
Laura B says
You are such a strong mama! Vasa Previa is very scary but you held strong and I am so glad for your very happy ending. Happy 4th Birthday Owen!
Stephanie Jeannot says
Wow. Can’t believe you had to go through all that. But thankGid you and your son are okay. Happy 4th birthday to him
Claudia Krusch says
Milena, what a beautiful story of your journey. I’m so inspired by your strength! Loved it!
Mary Ellen says
What an inspiring story. You told it perfectly.
Laura Funk says
I have never even heard of that condition! Thankfully they caught it and you are both happy and thriving 4 years later!