Photo credit: kevinrosseel from morguefile.com
Yes, I said three hours. I’m having a lactose test done to see if I really am lactose intolerant or if I have some other condition that would cause my stomach to swell. I’ll start by telling you that I have had nothing to eat in about 14 hours, no coffee this morning, and now have diarrhea from the crap they gave me to drink. A nurse pops her head out here in the waiting room every 15 minutes or so and has me blow into a tiny machine. I have no idea. I’m on hour 2 now and I’m going a bit insane.
I have read a magazine, reorganized my iPhoto library, checked Facebook on my Smartphone and then finally called a friend to come save me from my own personal hell. My mind is racing. There is not one soul in this waiting room, not one, not even the random old person that wants to tell you all their aliments. The exit sign is broken and keeps flashing on and off. It wouldn’t be so annoying if it didn’t make a sound like a dripping water faucet.
I want to lie down and take a nap. I can’t believe I have to go race home for the insurance inspector, ( to checkout our roof), and then go to football practice tonight. The day is a bust. The sign just won’t stop making that noise. Someone just walked in and rushed into the bathroom, great, I hope I don’t have to go. I’m so hungry. This is never good when you feel this hungry. I wish they had a radio in here or a TV. I can only get online with my phone and I just can’t do any real work like that. I did however figure out how to use my calendar on it.
I wonder what they’d do if I just started doing cartwheels in the middle of the floor. I wonder if I still can do cartwheels. I’ve never really been able to walk on my hands so that’s just not an option. What is that guy doing in that bathroom? Does anyone else have these thoughts or is it just me. Am I insane? Oh, thank God someone came in to check on the bathroom guy. He says he’s fine.
If I was smart I would have brought a movie with me and headphones. That would have been genius. Well, at least I have my laptop, phone and kindle. I guess I should read some more. Maybe I’ll switch my chair. Here comes bathroom guy.
My friend has arrived thank God! She can’t focus on what I’m saying because the exit sign is distracting her. (see, it’s not just me) She tries to make small talk with the nurse and soon finds out what I had discovered before, that she (the nurse) has the personality of a wet dishrag. Now that’s a friend to sit through this mental mind fuck with me.
The best part- they charge me a fifty dollar co-pay just for sitting in the waiting room for 3 hours and after seeing not one doctor. All I have to say is that I better be lactose intolerant after sitting through that crap. I’ll keep you posted.
Kelly says
Right back at ya from amomjustwingingit.blogspot.com
Thank you!
Walter says
Sorry for your pain, but that was funny reading!
Susan Polifemo says
I love that your as nutty as I am.