Oh, it’s that time of the year! I love Halloween. So, I thought what better way to start off the weekend than by sharing 10 things that I’ve learned from watching horror movies. I am a big horror fan. I like it all: the old Lon Chaney movies, Vincent Price, the teen screams, all of it-Love it! I couldn’t say what my favorite movie is because it depends on what I feel like at the moment. Of course Halloween the 1978 version is at the top of my list this weekend. I actually watched it the other day and got freaked out by being in the house alone. You know that a movie is good when you are still scared during the day. Todays blood and gore films are hit or miss for me. The remakes- awful! Okay, so here we go.
I’ve learned that:
10. large breasted women usually get killed first and almost always naked. (Thank God for my small bosom!)
9. if you run from a slasher chances are you will fall down. (You also might be so injured from your fall and will limp until the killer catches up with you!)
8. it’s always quite dark and understaffed in hospitals that are in these films.( I want to know where to find these hospitals. I spent a month on bedrest at the hospital and it was never dark in the hallway at night and let me tell you those nurses were quite chatty at night outside my door.)
7. most psychos prefer to use knifes, axes, hooks, but not guns. ( I suppose this is why they are called slasher films. I’m sure the NRA is thrilled about it.)
6. the only way to kill a zombie is by shooting them in the head. ( I thought this was just common sense, but my husband didn’t know this fact. You can also cut off their heads, basically if you are being chased by a zombie aim for the head!)
5. most killers have mommy issues. ( They always blame the moms! Think Jason Voorhees, all the killers from Scream, should I go on?)
4. you should never leave anyone for dead or just maimed. (IF the killer is down and you have the opportunity to slice and dice them do it! Everyone always walks away and the killer always comes back.)
3. running up the stairs unless you have an escape route planned is not a good idea. ( I suppose running down to the basement isn’t much better.)
2. being a babysitter is more dangerous than working at a convenient store. ( This is the main reason that I never became a babysitter. Well, that and I don’t like kids.)
1. the reason the virgin always survives is that she can focus on escaping. (The rest of the characters, usually teens, are either drunk, stoned or too horny to know what to do.)
I wish I could go on, but then you’d probably start thinking that I don’t have my head screwed on right. Have a Happy Halloween!
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Susan Polifemo says
Dear God its like your in my head.
MsXpat says
Hey this is funny but so true. Have to admit didn’t notice the one about the virgin though. To this day whenever I’m walking down a corridor in a hospital I feel as though I’m an extra in a horror flick, lol. Cool post.
Walter says
Also the sluttiest, most obnoxious women always have the most gruesome and prolonged death! (That’s what happens when you have male directors with high school girlfriend rejection issues!)
Pam says
Too funny!
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Thanks for the laugh!
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Debbie says
Too funny!!!
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Brae says
I could have written this post! LOL. I LOVE horror too- but more of the paranormal kind- ghosts and stuff- than slasher. But I watch these and can pick out who is oging to die first who is going to save the day and kind of get irritated when they don’t discover they’re in a horror film until the end, when they figure out that that zombie, walking like 1/2 a mile per hour, needs a bat to the head. No one should ever die by zombie. They’re slow and easy to kill. LOL.
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Eschelle says
ROFL!!! the mommy issues is soo true that is GREAT and number one is hilarious!! “Hubby” burst out laughing right away lol!
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Nancy says
#10, That’s because we like walking around with no shirts to show them off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember you’re pushing the wheelbarrow around for me when we’re really old and they are bouncing off my knees!
Kate F. says
I love horror movies! The original Halloween is my favorite.
Ashley @irishred02 says
lol this was a great post! I learned never run upstairs or go Who’s there?!
Christina says
You’re hilarious! And yes, being a babysitter is very, very dangerous 🙂
Autumn says
Haha great post. I love number 10 :). I’m a big horror movie fan.