Aren’t you glad you’re reading about my skin conditions? Well, I’m glad I’m better off then I thought-here is the scene:
I’ve developed red splotches on the backs of my legs. I can’t sleep or sit. It just burns. My husband had the nerve to ask me if I had chaffing – WTF! That is so sexy. NO, I have no idea what this is, let me call the dermatologist! I haven’t been since 2007 and the person on the phone seemed upset by that fact. Gee, I didn’t think I needed to go unless I felt I needed to go. Next I walk into the office:
I have always found the waiting room an interesting place. You see all sorts of people there and just imagine what they are there for, my imagination is just a bit too wild. If you’ve read my post “Ramblings from a Three Hour Doctors Visit” You can just imagine yourself what went on in my head yesterday.
I walk in to the office of my dermatologist. Since I have been last they have changed location. I love it when I walk in and everyone just stops and stares at you. The woman, way too tan for February, with her kid on the couch and another looking at all the products for sale in the cabinet, the angry teen that hasn’t stopped shaking her foot to do more than glare at you. I confidently walk to the desk and check in.
This is so different then going to any other doctor. While I’m getting the information to check in another patient keeps interrupting me asking about teeth whitening. The receptionist keeps telling her they don’t do teeth whitening and she needs to talk to her dentist. I’m still trying to get my paperwork and this person keeps insisting that they have whitening products in their display cabinet. The receptionist apologizes to me and tells the woman that those are skin whitening products- not for teeth. I turn around and go to fill out my paperwork. Super tan lady is staring at me and giving me the once over. Silly me wore no make-up since I’m going to the dermatologist and actually wanted him to look at my skin. Teen girl is sitting across from me. She has not stopped shaking her leg up and down. It’s driving me crazy. I think I need to move after I fill out this paperwork. Tan lady gets called into the office, she arises and is wearing very tight black leggings. They should be called tights, as I could see she has no panties on! She really needs a shirt to cover her ass or a better pair of leggings.
A new patient walks in, skinny old lady I’ll call her. Bleach blonde hair, same tight black leggings with no panties or shirt to cover her ass, great body, here for a chemical peel. Seriously, needs to wear underpants or a thong. I know, I’m a bad, bad person. After a certain age we just need to have a little discretion. It doesn’t mean we can’t be sexy! She keeps pacing. I know the type. She has someplace to be, or at least she thinks so and this is taking two whole minutes two long. Oh, thank God they call teen queen because my head was going to explode from her shaking her leg, The lady with the teeth whitening is back at the receptionist desk saying that the products in the cabinet are for whitening. The receptionist informs her again that the products are for skin not teeth. She laughs it off and begins texting and sits.I giggle to myself because I know I’ll be blogging about this and it’s good stuff. I contemplate whether or not I should have wore tight black leggings. I get called in….
I tell the nurse my issue and of course she instructs me to put on a gown. I’m freaking out a bit because I couldn’t find any modest panties in my drawer. Either I’m a teen girl or a stripper by the looks of what’s in my drawer. Today’s most modest choice is a pair of red underpants with black hearts all over them. I guess I’ll live. I wish I had a body that was as lively. The doctor finally comes in and he he looks oddly like my friend Troy which freaks me out a bit more. He gets on the floor, (embarrassing) to look at my legs. The nurse is circling around him shining a light on my legs. Great! He asks me to remove my socks. What? He says, ” I’m pretty sure it’s eczema, but there seems to be a ring. I want to make sure it’s not ringworm.” What? You just did not say that to me! Gross! What! Ring-What!
Nope! My feet are dry, but no ringworm. Thank God! He gives me a script then checks my back and face. I’m given a clean bill of health.I can’t get this paper gown off fast enough. I end up ripping the plastic tie as I could release myself from it’s grips.
They send me off with a bag of samples and a fifty dollar co-pay. I glance at the divas in the waiting room and rush off, glad that’s over.
Kim says
Ha ha ha….you should have asked if the black tights were a gift that come with the chemical peel…lol.
Ethel says
You forgot one for the waiting room people. The old man or woman who can not hear well and has no discrestion and discusses their butt issues out load in front of the whole waiting room with a nurse, didn’t need to hear that one lady, now I want to vomit!!!! Too funny though, and I will always wear my panties out in public!!!!!!!!!!!!!!