Honestly, I don’t care too much about what other people think of me as a parent. Now don’t get me wrong, when I first became a mother yes it seemed as if that’s all I thought about. Then when my second son was born I lost that feeling and became confident in my parenting skills. My children are well behaved and for the most part people enjoy them. I have never truly had a moment where I felt I needed to defend my children from another adult. Then it happened just last week and this momma bear roared! Now, keep in mind the comments made by this person weren’t specifically aimed at my son, but I wasn’t going to let this one go, not this time.
On a local town Facebook page, during a conversation about school taxes a person commented on how there are so many special education students in our district and that everyone and their grandmother can just run out and get their kids diagnosed with something and then get special services. I thought to myself, “Oh no she didn’t just say that.” The comment lingered with me for hours. I was waiting for someone to address it, but it never happened. Then I thought, “Why can’t I just address it?” So, I messaged the person off-line and told them I found their comment offensive. I said that no parent wishes for their child to be diagnosed with something and that no parent wants their child to require special help. As a parent of a child that has an IEP ( Individualized Education Program), I know what it takes to get one. Yes, we went to doctors, we had testing, we did research and we fought. No one just handed us services and trust me it’s so much easier with my other child that doesn’t require these services. These services aren’t a privilege, they are a necessity.
I didn’t insult this person. I just pointed out why the statement was hurtful. Come to find out, they published their statement in a moment of anger. This person had tried several years ago to get their child services and were denied. They had to watch their child struggle all the way through school and she had felt cheated. I accepted the apology and we then shared some other conversations. I’m glad I didn’t hold on to my anger and judge this person. We both handled the situation as adults and I think we both learned something. Sorry if you were waiting for a story about me chewing somebody up and spitting them out. Maybe that was my style when I was younger, but this seems to work much better.
Ruth says
There is so many reasons that I think you an amazing person, and this story is just one of them. It is so easy to take the Mama Bear fierce road, and I think your approach was so much better. When you say mama bear, you were referring to the passion that motivated for you to respond and to confront the issue. I am glad you were able to speak up, and I am impressed where your conversation led you. Very NICE.
Ethel says
Very proud of you, sticking up and still keeping your cool 🙂