I have to be honest. I’m a bit nervous about my son starting Middle school this year. We have already navigated the waters of friendship up until this point, but I realize that things are going to change and I want to be prepared. As a parent, I try to remind myself that I need to take a step back and let my boys develop their own social skills. I do want to guide them, but not have them use me as a crutch. When we talk about Middle school friendships I find that most of the focus falls on girls and their relationships with each other and boys. As a mom of two boys, I know that there is also a lot happening socially for boys and was curious to see if Friends and Frenemies: The Good, the Bad, and the Awkward by Jennifer Castle and Debbie Reber would be a good fit.
About Friends and Frenemies: The Good, the Bad, and the Awkward:
Middle school friendships can be a source of great joy one day, then pain and anxiety the next. Friends and Frenemies examines the complexities of friendship and helps readers start building communication tools that will last a lifetime. The book tackles big questions such as: “How can I make friends?” and “What if I feel like I need to end a friendship?” Friends and Frenemies includes not just advice, but also comments from real kids, advice from older teens who have been there and done that, quizzes, polls, and other interactive elements that encourage readers to engage with the book, adding their own thoughts and experiences.
My Thoughts: (Plus feedback from an 9 and 11 year-old boy.)
Friends and Frenemies is a wonderful guide for both boys and girls. After reading a bit I felt comfortable enough to hand it over to my boys to read. Our school year had ended with some turmoil in the friendship department so I was curious to see if they would find reading this book useful. They did, but I’ll get to that in a moment. The chapters are can be read in any order you chose. If you find your child is having problems making friends, fighting with a friend, has questions about gossip, they can easily go to that chapter and get the information. The book is well written, easy to read and contains not only information from the authors, but from other tweens and teens that have gone through these experiences themselves. I’m a big fan of the “journal kickstarts” in this book. There are a few highlighted boxes in the book that ask the reader to get deep with themselves and write it down. Personally, I love this idea and would encourage readers to also use the quizzes throughout the book as “journal kickstarts”. Another feature that I’d like to point out is the chapter covering “Opposite Sex Friendships”. This touches on crushes and the rules of opposite sex friendships in a safe a tween friendly manner. Both of my boys found this book interesting and helpful in dealing with their relationships with friends. They both also commented that keeping this book around would be helpful as a source of guidance in their future friendships.
Final thought: This book is for ages 8 – 13. I feel the parent can use it as tool for future success in the social lives of their children. Children as well can keep this book in their room as a guide, as inspiration, and future reference. I highly recommend this book for both boys and girls. On that note, my only criticism is the cover. The pastel colors, friendship bracelets and pictures of girls on both the front and back of the book cover reads “this is for girls”. There is a smaller drawing of 2 boys together on the front cover as well, almost as an after thought. I probably wouldn’t be drawn to pick up this book for my boys because of the cover. I’m glad I did because it is relevant to both sexes. Pick it up! It’s a great back to school gift!
The Giveaway:
I have a copy of Friends and Frenemies: The Good, the Bad, and the Awkwardto giveaway to one of my lucky readers! Please wait for the form to load and good luck! Giveaway ends September 3, 2015. Giveaway is US only, 18 and up.
Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in order to facilitate a review. Al thoughts belong to me and my children.
Laura says
I can’t say this post applies too much to me, but reading to children is so, so important. Some of my most comforting memories are of mum and dad reading to me before bed or when I was unwell. Even more important now in our digital age.
Rebecca Bryant says
In a time when social media is so big this book sounds like a great learning tool. Will have to get a copy for my nieces.
Ashley @irishred02 says
I feel the same way as my daughter gets older and this year starts a new school. She is a sweet girl and I just don’t want her to be pushed around by bullies
Jessica Harlow says
My daughter starts middle school next year and I’m nervous about the transition too. It seems to be so different now with all of the bullying on social media!
rissa j says
Just one!
Heather lawrence says
I have to remind myself every year that these guys have to learn to work things out and get along with each other. It’s easy to want to momma bear through everything but I can’t always be there to help them. 🙁
carissa garabedian says
What a great tool! Frenemies is a word that suits this generation so well.Kids are so overwhelmed with all that social media brings into their lives that this book will help to make it more manageable.
maria @closetohome says
social skills are such a hard concept for kids. Its great for them to see them in books.
Debbie Denny says
That does sound interesting.Great that it deals dealing with friends.
Liz Mays says
This sounds like a helpful book for parents as well as preteens. I know I’d have to give it a read-through.
Claudia Krusch says
It looks like a great book! It’s so important to share it with pre-teens and teens. I think my son would love to read it!
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
Friendships can be so complicated. This seems like a great book to help teach young adults about how to build friendships.
Stephanie @CopyKat.com says
I wished there didn’t need to be books like this out there. I needed one of these books at a former employer. So glad they are educating kids about this early in life.
Censie says
What a great book. Friendships can be really hard at any age.
Lorane says
This is definitely the most Awkward age for friendships especially girls where Kids can be mean since they are just coming into their own
LauraOinAK says
My almost 12 year old just started middle school this year. I’ll have to check this book out for him.
And, I AM still in touch with a few friends from middle school (on Facebook as we live in different parts of the country.)
Mama to 5 BLessings says
This sounds like a great book for my son. He has been bullied a few times and this sounds like he could get a lot out of reading this.
Heidi Bee says
I am not in touch with any middle school friends anymore! We moved away so it made it hard.
Laura funk says
I too am nervous about those middle school years and my kids are barely old enough to start school. Looks like a great resource
Annie {Stowed Stuff} says
What a great book for middle schoolers! Sounds like a perfect fit for anyone trying to navigate their way through friendships at that age!
Jennifer Nicole says
I’m still friends with 3 people from middle school. Friendships have always been difficult for me. A book like this sure would have helped me when I was younger! I would definitely use this book with my students!
Kristin says
Oh goodness…I know things like that are headed our way soon and will be great to have tools to help deal!
Marci says
Yes, but just one!
Noreen says
I changed school so I lost touch with all of them