Lately I feel as if I have been doing a lot of self discovery. Maybe that’s not even true, might I say I’m admitting things about myself that I have known all along. The good, the bad, the ugly and I’m owning it.
I learned that I……..
10. I can’t stop talking even when I know what I’m saying doesn’t make any sense. ( I hate this and wonder how long I have been doing this or if this is a new phenomenon. I recently caught myself twice trying to make a point and just losing it, but I continued talking. Ugh.)
9. I hold grudges and have a hard time letting things go. ( The husband called me out on this one and I even had to laugh. I think I hit bottom when I brought up something that happened about 10 years ago and the husband just laughed at me and said, “You really need to let that go.” He’s right.)
8. I fell for a couple narcissists that I truly thought were my friends. ( I’m sure if I said anything to either of them they would blame it on me! LOL!)
7. I am uncomfortable receiving compliments even though I like hearing them. ( I just don’t know what to say besides, “Thank you.” Is that really enough?)
6. I can’t do everything. ( That’s right folks, I’m not a super mom and that’s okay. What I can do is say no more often and hold people accountable for their own stuff.)
This is where the good stuff starts. (Or is this all good stuff?)
5. I am loyal. ( Someone tried to convince me once that this was a bad thing. It’s not. If you are my friend or my family I will go to the ends of the Earth for you. If you hurt me that’s on you not me.)
4. I need to listen to more of the advice I dole out to the kids. ( Especially…”Get out of your box and just start talking to people! If you are yourself the right people will be attracted you!”)
3. I can set the mood for the day. ( If I don’t feel like doing something then my kids won’t. Sometimes I need to suck it up and be positive so they can can make their own assumptions and not feed off of my emotions. )
2. I play the middle and someone needs to be that person. ( I run interference. Whether it’s with my friends, family, school, etc. I am the one in the middle trying to make peace, explain the other side, and well, just make it all better. Somehow that’s my role and I accept even though it’s a hard place to be. )
1. I have perspective, but can still see the big picture. ( This has been a gift to me that recently popped up in my life. More about this at another time.)
I am with you. I hold grudges for LIFE. Once someone has wronged me, they are dead to me.
I suffer the 8 and 9 too. But in the last 6 years since being married to a super sweet, most gentle guy on earth, I’ve mellowed out and not being too easily trusting on people. 😉
9 and 10 are totally me! I’m learning to let go a bit better. I can totally identify my bad traits!
I’m with you on the grudge part. I don’t like when I hold a grudge, but I have to admit I do.
I too hold grudges. I may forgive occasionally but I never forget adn once you burn that bridge there’s no rebuilding it.
It’s so true. Once the damage is done, it’s done.
I take time to examine who I am and who I want to become on a monthly basis. Identifying the good and the bad really helps life to become much easier as a person.
Read this post a year from now, you will be surprised how different you feel about all of these things! 🙂
I personally think you are great exactly the way you are!
This is a great post to write. I need to think of things I learn about myself too. Like you, I hold grudges. I know that isnt healthy!!
I sure can relate to this. I love these different mantras you shared here.
II can recognize and judge them both. I’m getting better with it as I age. 😉
It’s always a learning process, the more you know, the better you live! Love your post!
You and I are similar in many of this aspects. I too cant stop talking. My husband hates it.
oh my I could have written this exact list! Especially #9 . . .as I can be your best friend & am extremely loyal, but if you do something to work me over . . .well 😉 LOL
Learning about me recently too! I also hold grudges, but I have gotten better since knowing that I do!
Well it’s good that you clearly know things that you can and can’t do. Acknowledging it already speaks so much about yourself.
It is important to look hard at yourself for both the good and the bad!
I try not to hold grudges, but sometimes there’s just one thing someone does that makes it hard to forgive. With that, every single one of us makes mistakes all the time and I think we need to analyze the other person’s intentions. Did they intentionally mean to hurt you? Things like that really matter. It’s good to realize things about yourself so you can grow. I’ve been having this self-realization too.
I love your honesty in this!
I’m awful about accepting compliments too. I tend to immediately deflect them rather than take them in.
One thing I learned about myself a while back which has turned out to make my life easier – I am very level headed and friends are always asking advice or opinions – then they go or do whatever they think. But when their actions backfire they expect me to say I told you so and automatically take the defensive. New Rule – “will you give me your advice/opinion?” NO
We all have flaws and it’s better to know them then to deny that you have them. It’s nice to list down the things that you have learned about yourself throughout the years. It gives you a good view on what you want to improve or change about yourself or your life.
Your list is nicely written, number 6 transitions well enough for all the good things below it. I’m hear you. When it comes to the guilt-bad things, it sometimes goes to a “loathing” part for me that will turn to a food-deprived session. And then I just look up and say, hey, I made it. Then everything else in my life makes sense afterwards. Nice statue there!
That was a good read. I can identify with many of these.
I like the questions and haven’t thought much of looking inside like this.
I will.
Thanks
This is such a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing this about yourself. Sometimes you learn new things every day about yourself. It’s nice to see how honest you are too.
You and I sound a lot alike (and I have a pic in front of Rocky’s statue too!). As I was reading your post, I was constantly nodding!
My granma always said, “never forget who you are, cause in the end you are all that you have”.
We are SO alike with 9! I’m working on fixing that, but its so hard!
I sometimes hold grudges too! And oh, we are the same at number 2.
I’m so sorry that you went through this, in our lives we have a lot things to learn and realized. In good thing we’ve learned.
Very interesting facts i like when people share or open up themselves to everyone. Because somehow I can relate especially on no. 5 & 7 feels good to know that I am not the only one who feels that way.
I love that you got some good points in there too. I find a lot of time we are our biggest critiques. So being able to find your good points is wonderful. I too hold grudges lol
Regarding #7 yes it definitely is enough to say Thank You.
As for the others, acceptance is the first step. You can work on things that you can and just accept the things you cannot.
I sure can relate to this. I love your post and agree with all that you’ve shared!