“Get me some tinsel”, my friend said. Earlier that year she had been diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer. She was hospitalized due to some complications and it was close to the holidays. She rang me and asked if I could decorate her room as I had when I spent a month in the hospital. We had discussed several times how making it less like a hospital and more like a getaway was healing. I was up for the challenge, but thought, “Where am I going to find tinsel?” “Do they even sell it anymore?” I headed to the Dollar General in hopes that I could locate this cheesy long past holiday item. As luck would have it I found it, that is after searching several boxes of stuff.
The elves and I began to decorate her room, but I was at a loss as to what to do with the tinsel. We didn’t really have a tree so it was just splashed here and there. The look on her face was priceless. As I drove home with bags of leftover decorations in my car I began to think about the tinsel. It’s like the Easter grass of Christmas! It gets everywhere! Why? Why would she want this horrible crap from the seventies? I remember being a little girl and tossing it on our tree with my mom. I also remember getting older and hating the tacky shimmering of it. I worked for years as a visual merchandiser and on average I would decorate around 50 if not more trees a year. Some had to look exactly alike others came with their own tree plan on exactly how many ornaments and what types needed to be placed on the tree. There was no tinsel.
That night after everyone went to bed I sipped some wine and stared at my tree’s glowing lights. I remembered how much fun I would have as a child decorating. My mom would just pull this old blue suitcase out filled with ornaments and let me go to town. As I got older considering the work I did I needed my tree at home to be perfect too. The lights alone would take me all day. My perfect although had no plan. Each ornament held a memory for me. After I married and had children we added to those memories. I happily let the kids help decorate the tree with me and maybe here or there moved an ornament or two after they went to bed. Then that night it happened. Wine in glass, all alone I grabbed a handful of tinsel and threw it on my tree. I started to cry.
I pulled the tinsel all around the tree, adding it and taking it away from some places. Why was I crying? You might assume that I was crying for my friend, but I was crying for me. I was crying for the time I had spent trying to make things “perfect” when the perfection was just in being present and being myself. No one cared about the lights, or the perfectly picked out ornaments. I knew I was going to get some slack for the tinsel. Everyone has an opinion these days. I have heard it all throughout the years. “Your tree looks weird? Nice Charlie Brown tree. Your tree is too big! Your tree is too small! How many lights? That’s too many? You have so many ornaments! Real trees have bugs, you could get ticks! Oh, it’s a fake tree? We only get a live one.” Heard them all. But when I tossed that tinsel something inside of me was set free from the judgement. I swear I could smell my mom cooking in the kitchen and hear my brothers arriving home for the holidays.
My friend made it home and on the next Christmas I not only gifted her with a box of tinsel, but I bought one for myself.
Guess what I did yesterday when I was all alone? I opened up my box of tinsel and showered it all over my tree. No wine needed. Did I cry? Nope, but I laughed and laughed. My kids no longer want to help me decorate and that’s okay. I loved what we had, but I also love what is happening right NOW. My friend is still here teaching me (and the world) lessons everyday.
Mary Chase says
This is such a beautiful piece. Thank you!
Alicia Taylor says
What a beautiful and sweet story. I am glad that your friend is home now and hopefully, doing much better in remission. My mom has tree-trimming parties every year and we all get together to decorate, so I was devastated when my kids outgrew it. Outgrew it? How do you outgrow that? I miss tinsel. We have 5 cats, so I don’t put it up – but I never grew bored of it little strings of silver.
Bree says
I love this. The smallest things can really make the best memories. So happy that you’re friend made it home to enjoy it with you; breast cancer is no joke!
Patty says
What a beautiful story. I love the reminder that Christmas is not about the perfect tree or present. I have often obsessed about the wrong things. This year I am vowing to make Christmas about having fun and being present in the moment.
Keikilani says
This is so beautiful! It’s really the little things at Christmas that really mean so much.
Alicia says
You have such a beautiful tree! I have always loved seeing tinsel on trees.
Tiffany Khyla says
Oh goodness. This is such a touching story. Firstly because y’all took the time to decorate her room with exactly what she wanted and secondly because of your breakdown about your realization of not needing to be perfect. That’s something I can 100% relate to. When I was younger, we used to go crazy throwing tinsel on the tree. It was my favorite, but such a b-word to clean up.
Monica (NYCTechMommy) says
What a beautiful and touching story! Sometimes it is the smallest things make the biggest difference. I hate cancer! Glad your friend came home and that you got yourself a box of tinsel too!
Kerri says
I love how the smallest things like tinsel can make all the difference and bring up loving memories. Thank you for sharing this beautiful memory!
Dawn Nieves says
Such a beautiful story! It reminds me I haven’t seen tinsel in years and I loved decorating with it when I was younger. Your tree looks beautiful!
brianne says
I haven’t seen tinsel in ages. This brings back so many childhood memories! I love it!
Alecia says
I barely remember using tinsel when I was a kid but I do remember finding a bird nest with tinsel woven into it from a tree someone had discarded. I think there is too much pressure to be perfect with the constant social media coverage today. I’m a Christmas perfectionist but this year I’m trying to enjoy my decorated-with-a-4-year-old tree where 75% of the ornaments are on the bottom third pf the tree. I’m happy your friend made it home for the next Christmas!
reesa says
WHat a great story to help us really understand the season. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just memorable!
Rebecca Bryant says
What lovely story. I am a tinsel queen. For me, a tree isn’t a Christmas tree without tinsel and lots of it.
Jasmine - Stylish Cravings says
I was actually thinking that my tree needed a little something more and tinsel would be perfect! I can’t believe I didn’t think of adding tinsel to it, this will definitely add that extra oomph it needs!
Lois Alter Mark says
What a beautiful post- thank you reminding me to let the process, rather than the outcome, be enough. I’m so glad you’ve once again found joy in the creation of your holiday traditions. May this season be full of laughter, warmth and tons of tinsel!
Alicia says
Very kind of you to help your friend. This time of year is all about hope.
Louise says
What a beautiful thing you did for your friend. I would never have thought about decorating a room like this until reading your post. But now I know I’ll think about it again if anyone I know is ever in hospital over the Christmas period. Sending you both lots of love this year.
Louise x