I received this in an e-mail today and just wanted to share with everyone!
Monday, Dec. 7, 2009
K-STATE CHILD DEVELOPMENT EXPERT SAYS THE MAGIC OF SANTA CLAUS IS NO LIE
MANHATTAN — Should parents let their children believe in Santa Claus?
Absolutely, according to Charles Smith, a Kansas State University expert in child development. While Santa may not be a flesh-and-blood person, the cultural truth of St. Nicholas is key to a child’s developing imagination, Smith said.
“Santa Claus is a shared cultural image of benevolence and kindness and you don’t want to undermine that,” he said.
“With Santa Claus, you are trying to enrich the child’s life by sharing something that you both enjoy,” he said. “Santa Claus embodies the whole idea of the Christmas season as the time of caring, togetherness and magic.”
Smith said that a child’s belief in the story of Santa Claus enables the child to develop a sense of wonder about the jolly character and use their imagination. Using their imagination to consider the possibilities is key to problem solving and other mental tasks down the line, he said.
“Santa Claus is a loving, merry person who cares about kids so much that he wants to bring toys to kids throughout the whole world,” Smith said. “If you take Santa Claus out of the picture, you diminish that child’s sense that they are special.
“We know that Santa is not real, but the truth of Santa is the shared cultural commitment to kids, to bring happiness into children’s lives,” he said.
Some parents may think teaching their children to believe in Kris Kringle is setting them up for big disappointment when they find out he doesn’t exist.
Smith said that children who discover Santa isn’t real rarely blame their parents. In fact, the most common response is to keep the story going so they not only continue to get presents, but because they recognize the joy their parents get from the experience, he said.
However, Smith said that some parents could take the Santa notion too far. He once had an adult student who reported being very angry with his father for what the student said amounted to lies about Santa. Turns out, this particular student’s father used to take him for a drive looking for Santa on Christmas Eve. The father would stop and point to a starry sky. The preschooler would then begin to search, hoping to get a glimpse of Santa. What the young man recalled was his father laughing when his hunt was unsuccessful.
“Instead of a shared, joyful moment, the student felt betrayed,” Smith said.
That’s why Smith advises against forcing children to sit on Santa’s lap at the store or insist they write him a letter. This sort of persistence will only result in negative feelings, he said.
Above all, parents should respect their child’s imagination and let them take the lead, Smith said. Most children will ask pointed questions about the mythical man in red who flies around the globe delivering toys to all the world’s children in a single night. Smith said it is important not to overexplain.
“Be honest when children initiate a question,” Smith said. “If a child asks if Santa is real, you might say that Santa is a wonderful idea about someone who wants to bring happiness to children.”
Smith also said that using Santa Claus as a disciplinary measure or threat sends mixed messages.
“If Santa Claus was real, he would not refuse to come to your child’s house if she didn’t eat all of her green beans,” Smith said. “Telling a child that Santa would do that undermines a shared enjoyment of Santa Claus.
“Santa Claus is a shared magic that brings families together. When you respect and are responsive to the child’s imagination, you build happy memories to last a lifetime, Smith said. “That’s why that sense of joyfulness that surrounds Santa Claus is so important. It’s a cold, hard world for a child who can’t have that kind of pleasure.”
CHARLES SMITH
Professor, family studies and human services
State human development specialist, K-State Research and Extension
Charles Smith works hard to get information out to parents across the state of Kansas and the nation to aid in raising their children. As the state human development specialist with Kansas State University Research and Extension, Smith designs, distributes and evaluates non-credit educational programs for use with parents and children in communities across the state and nation.
He was team leader in the development of “The National Extension Parent Education Model,” which is used across the country as a national model of parent education in extension systems. The authors were challenged to create a national consensus based on what they hoped others would find as common ground; the book provides a comprehensive framework for creating parent education programs.
Smith is a former president of the Kansas Governor’s Commission on Education for Parenthood and a recipient of the Celebrate the Family National Award from Pennsylvania State University. Smith is a member and cofounder of the Parent Education Association of Kansas. He conducts workshops across the country on Basic Parenting, Responsive Discipline, and Caringworks, a program on the development of conscience in children. Smith also maintains an award-winning informative Web site, “The WonderWise Parent,” http://www.ksu.edu/wwparent/
He received his bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Dayton, and both his master’s and doctorate in child development from Purdue University. He joined K-State in July 1978. Smith previously worked as a preschool teacher, social worker and play therapist, in addition to serving as the director of the Texas Tech Child Development Center.
Smith has written many publications, including “The Peaceful Classroom: 162 Easy Activities to Teach Preschoolers Compassion and Cooperation,” which has been published in five languages in addition to English: Chinese, Czech, German, Hebrew and Polish, and won the Ben Franklin Award from the Publisher’s Marketing Association. Smith’s other publications include “From Wonder to Wisdom: Using Stories to Help Children Grow” and “Promoting the Social Development of Young Children.” He also has written many extension publications at K-State, including those on Anger Management, Developmental Milestones, Self-Esteem, Informal Helping Skills, Grandparenting and Effective Discipline. Smith has also published the Encyclopedia of Parenting Research and Therapy, 1999, and “Raising Courageous Kids: Eight Steps to Practical Heroism,” June 2004.
He received the 1999 Faculty Extension Excellence Award for the College of Human Ecology at K-State and the National Career Achievement Award for Outstanding Contributions by an Extension Specialist in 1997.
Smith can be reached at 785-532-1946 or by e-mail at [email protected].