About a month ago I read a parenting tip in a popular family magazine and I’m still disturbed by it. Now before I get started let me start with a disclaimer, sure I have given my kid a lollipop at 9 in the morning to get through a shopping trip. I think we’ve all done our share of bribing. Maybe getting your kids to finish their dinner with the promise of ice cream for dessert? I’m from the school of “do what you need to do to get by.” I’m not going to lie about it, but getting by sometimes and parenting that way all the time are two different stories. Tell me what you think.
Recap of paying for good manners:
The parenting tip begins with the story about how the parents grew tired of reminding their children to say “thank you” and “please” while they were away on vacation. Then they had a light bulb moment and offered to pay their children every time they used their manners – up to $5 a day. Not only did it work, but people even began to compliment the parents on what polite children they had. The parents were thrilled in a “We sure pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes kind of way.” The kids were happy to have money to buy souvenirs on their trip.
The magazine publishes the tip and gives the family $100 for sharing.
I think I missed something:
The last time I checked part of my job as a parent is to teach my children good manners. As with any job, it is repetitive and exhausting. I don’t parent to get a pat on the back from anyone. I hope that I model good manners and responsible behavior so that my children will follow doing what they feel is right. Now back to my disclaimer, I don’t want you to think that I’m giving this family the smack-down. We’ve all done a bit of bribing here and there. I just wanted to bring attention to the fact that we are constantly teaching our children behavior in our actions. Parenting is a never ending job. I’m curious at how this all worked out for them. Did they go home and stop paying? Did the kids learn good manners after being paid for a week? Would you consider this a good parenting tip? Would you be proud enough to publish it in a magazine? I have to be honest even telling you about the 9 A.M. lollipop bribe makes me shudder.
Jenn M says
Wow! I think that is just crazy! I would never. What is that really teaching?
beyourbestmom says
That’s what I’m saying. A lollipop, cookie, but $5 a day!
Ethel says
I am dying for a follow up story to that magazines’s article, really did the manners stop when the money did? Curious about the end result….
beyourbestmom says
I know, I’m not sure this would be the way I go when it comes to bribing.
Janet Dubac says
I’ve done a lot of bribing all right but I never did and have never thought about bribing them with money. I wonder what will happen to the kids the moment their parents decide to stop paying them for their good manners. Just a little curious about what will happen..
beyourbestmom says
Me too! I’d like to know what happens after the fact as well.
Michelle Christiansen says
idk yet if we’ll end up bribing for manners (def not w/ $$ tho), but when it comes to Josiah, it’s typically a “do what you need to get by” moment. So far my bribes have included candy, gum & of course, vitamins. Our kids are pretty good with manners (for now), but that may be because we ignore their requests if they don’t use them (or take something back if they don’t say “thank you”)
stephanie says
i have also done alot too lol