What do you do when your child tells you something? Do you listen, preach, try to fix, console or refute what your child is saying? Pay attention next time to your response, as it says something about how you parent. I’m sure it changes from time to time and you might do all of these things. It’s quite normal to do all these things, but what you can do is be conscious of how you deal with it. Sometimes your child will need different thing from you, but if you truly listen you’ll know. You will know when your child needs to be held, when they need advice, and when they need to be pushed in order to be their best. I feel as if I have entered into a new realm of parenting now. This is the hard stuff. Listening can be hard. I think what we need to remember is that these little people have very big lives ahead of them. As a parent you are their teacher first and foremost, and they care what you say to them.
I’m trying to balance two very, very different boys. My wish for them is that they be the best that they can be. It sounds easy, but it’s not. I know first hand that all it takes is a few words from an authority figure when you are young to break you and make you feel less than who you really are meant to be. I want my boys to embrace their strengths, but yet not see their weaknesses as areas of defeat. When your child tells you something – listen to what they are really saying. Are they saying, “Do you love me even when I don’t catch the ball?” ” Are you proud of me even when I get 2 answers wrong on the spelling test?” They might not use those words, but think a bit further. How can you build your child up? How can you let them know that it’s okay not to excel at everything? The answer is an easy one – just listen.
I personally don’t think that I’m smarter than any other person or parent when it comes to children. I do know that I listen to my boys and take into account their feelings about any given situation. It makes such a difference. I know who they are and I try to expose them to situations that would enhance their personality. My oldest son is incredibly book smart, quiet and uncoordinated. My youngest is chatty, athletic and social. It always has been and it always will be a challenge to let them both know that each one of them is great. My oldest is starting to see the differences between him and his brother and it’s hard for him to understand how they both can be great when they are so different. I do alot of talking these days. Hopefully he’ll see how it is possible, but for now I just talk, hug and love them so much.
Walter says
Very warm and intelligent observations. They’ll be just fine, but what an interesting journey!
beyourbestmom says
Thanks!
Bobcat says
Frankly I think that’s asboltuely good stuff.