Well, I was going to sort of bail on this one, but had second thoughts. I was just going to say that my tough decision was not doing the challenge for the last two days and not trying to catch up. There is no challenge police and I just needed a break. I also didn’t like the prompts. I just couldn’t do it. Anyway, we’ve recently made a tough decision regarding my son. Once again I’m going to touch on something I don’t blog about and that is religion. Here is the scoop in a nutshell. I was raised Catholic and my husband chose this religion as well and became a Catholic before we married. Honestly we are not big church goers. We wish we were, but it just doesn’t seem to happen as much. We Baptized both of our boys. Here is the problem:
My oldest son has some special needs and going to church has been incredibly painful. It has ever since he was a baby. We’ve avoided it unless there was a major holiday. Now fast forward to today and my son is getting ready to receive his First Communion. It’s still painful, well at least church is, painful. He loves going to CCD ( that’s religion class) and he loves God, but church is tough. It’s loud, crowded and he finds it a scary place. Not exactly something I want him to associate with God, so we try to limit it.
The tough decision was do we just bail on Communion all together or stick it through. He recently had his first Reconciliation and the weeks leading up to it were rough. He had bloody noses brought on from stress. He had trouble remembering the prayers and trouble with the sign of the cross. All things that are caused by his issues. He broke my heart. He is so smart and he wanted to do this, but it was so difficult for him. Church remains like a pot of boiling water and my little guy is the lobster I keep throwing back in. What do we do? How do we ease his anxiety?
The picture above was taken after his first Reconciliation, he did it and was so proud of himself. After talking to his teachers at CCD we’ve made some accommodations for him and he’s not been stressed. I’m so glad that I discussed in detail with his teachers what his issues are and we were able to work this out for him. Church, well, we still avoid it if too much has happened during the week. Religion shouldn’t be painful. I’m sure we’ll have to revisit this once again. For now, I know we made the right choice. Who knows what will happen in the future.
ida says
you are an awesome mom… you didn’t and never REALLY do avoid the tough decisions milena and i love that about you… you gift your boys with careful consideration and you work through each choice WITH THEM and hold their hands and you know what? GOD IS IN THAT… so church – when it works – will evolve as it is meant to but as the bible says “where 2 or more are gathered in my name – I am there”… so it seems to me – you are doing JUST FINE providing “church” for your boys right there every single time your family is loving each other…
tiffany elkins says
That is a very hard choice to make. I would say all you can do is pray about it. We supplement church with church on tv. I know its not the same, but…I would also hate to put him through that and make him grow up thinking church is a scary bad place. wow, this is a hard one. I look forward to hering what you finally settle on. I’m a new follower.
http://7kidsandcounting.blogspot.com/
Kathy Radigan says
I loved this post!! All three of our children have some kind of issue that can make church a bit of a challenge and extremely stressful. Our daughter had the most serious challenges but even our boys though doing great and will go on to have great lives and do what they want to do, have sensory issues that made church really hard. For now the physical act of going to church is something we do not do. I love that you found a way to let your son have the joy of his first Communion without the stress. It’s my opinion that God wants us to be joyous in celebrating him, not sick with stress. Good mommy!!! I’m thrilled to have found your site through voiceBoks!! I’m now happily following you!!
Kathy Radigan says
As I was reading this I realize I said my daughter had, my daughter has, she is still thankfully and happily with us! When I re-read my comment it sounded like she was no longer here. Sorry!!