The petty school yard bull shit of who bakes the best cupcake or who stays up all night prepping crafts……..
I recently interacted with two people that I have never met before and each told me that I had a reputation for being a “Super Mom”. One of them was kind and just commented that she didn’t know how I was “going be” because word on the street was that I was organized and ran an awesome class party. ( As if that’s a bad thing) The other, well, not so nice. She flat out told me that her goal was to be “super mom” and that she always goes out of her way to bring in over the top desserts and such for the kids. It has taken me a few days to think about what just happened. Was it my email at beyourbestmom that set them off? It says “your” not “I’m”. Regardless, this fascination with being a “super mom” is as old as time. These days “super” seems to be a cross between Martha Stewart,a Stepford Wife, and a Fortune 500 CEO. For me it’s just not like that in real life. Every mom is “super” in some way whether society sees it or not. I don’t believe that my ability to sculpt an anatomically correct skeleton out of Q-tips makes me a super mom. A super freak maybe, but not a super mom. I think we need to get over it.
Who do I think is a super mom?
The mom that asks for help when she needs it. The mom that smiles while her child is going through Chemo to help keep her child’s spirits up. The mom that holds that same family together when nothing in the world makes sense anymore. The mom that comes home and holds her children tight because she just spent the entire day watching her partner suffer under the hands of doctors. The mom that works two jobs because her partner just left her and she needs to make ends meet. These are the super moms. I’m a sideshow. Once again, I don’t think crafting a tree out of a toilet paper roll makes me special. What makes me special is that I’m me. I get dirty, I paint, I play in the sand box and I jump into the hotel pool with all my clothes on for my kids. I’m doing the easy part right now. Someday, I might have to be “super” like these other moms and I hope I have their strength to do it. They are my heroes.
For now, I suppose I’ll go on being hated for my paper plate version of the Taj Mahal.
Ruth says
beautiful post!
Jenn says
Well Said!
Michelle Christiansen says
lol- “super freak” ๐ I’m not one of those idealistic “super moms” & i don’t try to be ๐ (i’m the one who takes a pic of my kid eating no-no’s *before* taking it away, lol)
beyourbestmom says
I love that you do that Michelle. That’s why I love reading your blog. It’s so honest.
Beth Minor says
Funny…I have to say Milena that I have ALWAYS been jealous of you. You seem to be able to do everything and no matter what everyone has fun doing it. Your an amazing wife, mother, chef, blogger, office wife, classroom mom and probably a hundred other things I’ve noticed over the years the Barretts and Minors have know each other. Your kids are wonderful, fun, loving (even to each other), smart, handsome and polite.
Meanwhile I feel like my life is always a wreck, my kids hate each other, my husband is barely home due to work, I’m depressed all the time, I’m a terrible cook and everyone lets me know it, I’m tired, lonely and sick. I just can’t do it. I’ve tried so many things and can never really do anything well.
Reading your blog about what a “super” mom really is actually made me physically sit here in front of my computer and cry. Your absolutely right and the reason I know you are right is because MY mom is a super mom and my husband is a super dad and I think sometimes we just need that little comment that someone makes to make us realize it.
Thanks ๐
beyourbestmom says
Wow, I cried reading your comment. Those are such kind words. Trust me I get it. Don’t think for once that I haven’t had to scrape myself up off the bathroom after having a meltdown of epic proportions. We all do our best and to put it in different words, I haven’t had to face the challenges that many other moms face. It’s difficult being a parent period, then you throw in sickness, a husband that’s not home much, or being a single parent, a child with a disability, work and well the list can go on. Wen I start feeling like I can’t do something all I need to do is take a look around and see what others are dealing with and I’m reminded that I’m lucky and I can do this. We all find ourselves in that dark place, thankfully for the internet we don’t need to feel isolated anymore. There seems to be always someone to talk to or that you can relate with at anytime. We are all “super” in our ways sometimes it’s in the small things like not doing anything all day but holding your sick child to make them feel better and sometimes in the bigger moments. It all counts.
Just remember the best thing you can do for your family is take care of yourself and when needed let people take care of you.
Love You- Milena