I’m a blogger. Social media is my job. If I have to be honest with you I have a love/hate relationship with it. Now that’s my problem not yours, but what about our kids? Are they ready for it? Here are a few things that I have found to be important in teaching our children to use social media. Disclosure: I find that I talk a lot, especially to my children. We have explored so many areas of social media and they are only 9 and 11.
These are the “hot” topics that we have come into contact with or bordered on when it came to Social Media.
1.There is a reason why there is an age limit on joining sites like Facebook. Kids and adults can get obsessed with having many “friends”. They can make unwise choices and friend people they don’t even know just for virtual popularity. Accounts get hacked and not so pleasant things can come across even the safest of spaces.
2. The cyber bullying comes in many forms. Honestly, even the best of friends fight, but once you send that text or post the delete button will not save you. Make sure that in this age of no impulse control you teach your children to deal with their issues live and in person not online. ( Unless they are battling a huge company!)
3. Your online friends are your online friends and nothing more. ( Okay, I have to be honest again I have some online friends that I have never met that I just love! Michelle C! Then again this is all through being a blogger and you get a feel for a person and their family when you are involved with them online everyday. Tweens don’t have the ability to make these choices.
4. The amount of likes you get does not determine your self-worth. ( I know adults that can’t deal with this issue. As a blogger these are important to me, but as a person not so much.
5. If you do decided to let your kids use social media sites, text etc., get their passwords. While I don’t check my son’s text log everyday, I do pick it up from time to time. I have caught a few things that didn’t sit right with me and I even had a child text back and tell my son NOT to let me read his messages. Well, that’s not happening….until I feel he’s old enough to garner that amount of privacy.
6. Ask your child what is or is not okay to post online. (Guess what? Other parents tell their kids what you post about your kids! Do you want Kim’s daughter to know that your son has a crush on her? Or do you want to tell all of your daughter’s friends that she just called her first boy? Some information is not meant to be shared parents!)
7. When your child finds out they haven’t been invited to something. ( This has happened to me. Is your child prepared to see photos from a party he/she was not invited too? While we all can’t be invited to every single event our friends have, it’ still a hard thing to see. )
8. Teach your child that what people post is only what they want you to see. ( In this past year I have seen people who have posted perfection self-destruct. Their photos and updates were not a refection of what was actually happening in their lives.)
9. Don’t tell your virtual friends your real name ,where you live, or go to school! If they don’t already know then they don’t need to find out. This is a bit of a no brainer, but my boys told me to add it!
10. You aren’t missing out by NOT being online. Personally, when I want to feel better about my life I unplug. Enjoy your real friends, play outside, talk to a real person….these are the things you need to grow.
Personally, I live most of my life in the middle. I use tech, I love//hate it, but it does make my life better. It’s part of our lives and it’s not going anywhere. I do believe that kids do need to learn how to use it or it could do them a disservice later in life. As for my children, I do let them pay games and I do let my oldest one text. They have limits. Somehow, I have managed or have been blessed with kids that aren’t obsessed by the latest gadgets. This could all change tomorrow. For now, I’m enjoying being the one navigating the tech waters. One more word of advice….get to know the technology before you let your kids get their hands on it. That will keep you connected. Good luck!
This is a great post, thanks for making these points. We just had a in instagram situation with my 14 YO. And what I learned form that should be shared. My son allowed his friends to open 2 instagram accounts using his full name and they made up a contest to see which account would get more followers. There ended up being mild sexual content (made up, not my son’s). I had to contact instagram, provide proof of identity to get both taken down. My son was not aware of the dangers of allowing people to 1: use his full name 2: have accounts associated with him that he was privy to the passwords and 3: allowing people to make jokes about him that were inappropriate on social media.
My son doesn’t have a cell phone, so this was a huge eye opener for me, and in a way I’m glad it happened because it opened the door for several teachable moments between us.
My tween is not allowed anywhere near SM yet and won’t be for several years.
My boys don’t have accounts yet either, but some of their friends do- so I’m trying to stay on top of it.
My tween has been begging for SM accounts- he is not allowed at this point. A lot of kids nowadays have them so young. ALL of his friends have SM accounts (he has shown me to prove it), but none of them are technically old enough for even a Facebook account!
My oldest son does have the ability to text, but no SM accounts. Since I’m on, we talk about it a lot and I hope it will help him be responsible when he is old enough to have his own.
These are great tips for keeping tweens safe! So many things for parents to worry about these days. 🙁
So far I luck out in that my kids don’t care to be online yet. And thankfully they have friends that are the same way. But I am teaching them now about what can and cannot be done by them online!
Amen to #4. All day in my classes that is ALL I hear from kids. My students definitely value likes more than they value grades and education.
Such great tips. I really worry about cyber bullying.
Good post. Very important to remember these tips.
Great post! So important! Teens are vulnerable! And social media expands their already challenging world! I don’t what I would do if I were a teen today!
My son is a weird kid that has SM accounts but never uses them. He thinks they are boring and says he doesn’t need to see what people are eating for lunch.
Great information. I dread when my kids start their journey on social media, thankfully I think I have time.
I agree with all these points. We are living in deadly times .. boundaries need to be set. So many kids lose their life for making mistakes on social media
I think a lot of people in adulthood still aren’t safe about social media. It’s a good idea to teach these things early on.
We aren’t there yet, but these are great tips
My kids are very young, but what will it be like in ten years when they’re tweens and teens? I shudder! It’s so great to teach these skills now.
It is important that kids know that anything you post on the internet can be seen forever. Kids also need to know about internet safety as well.
Definitely great tips! Parents need to take an active role in teaching their children the dangers of social media. Too many parents don’t understand the technology and take a passive stance on it and their children are put in a dangerous position. Great suggestions!
I don’t have tweens yet, but I know that’s right around the corner. I hate to think of how much I’ll have to know and keep track of by then! But it’s so important.
Way to go with these fantastic tips. I don’t have human kids but I am sharing for my friends who do.
Great post. I don’t have kids yet, but this is something to keep in mind always.
I have school age kids who luckily for me haven’t really gotten into social media. They are more into video games than FB which I’m grateful for.
Great tips! We are not at the age yet where our kids are on(or want to be on) social media but I will be tucking these tips away for when that time comes!
It is important to teach our children about social media starting when they are very young, before they start using it.
The tween years are hard. The amount of creed they give to comments from strangers online can be more than a tad bit disturbing.
Great, great tips! As a mom of a tween I have had this conversation with her many times.
Great tips. We do not have tweens yet but we are very careful with our devices with our kids.
I have had to talk to my 17 year old a lot throught out the years about what she shares on social media. Thanks for this tips to make parents aware of what goes on out there in the world of social media.
Even adults need a reminder that likes don’t equal self-worth. This was an insightful post.
Super great tips! I think its important for tweens and teens to be careful with them and social media its too much craziness going on today!
SO true! My oldest is now 11 and I find it scary when she shows me her Instagram account and some of her friends are not private. We always talk about online safety.
This are all good things to teach your child. SOcial media is such a big part of our life but being safe is a musto
Such great tips, not only for tweens, but many teens and adults as well! My son is a teenager and I think it’s important to discuss social media responsibility often and regularly.
Social Media can be a very scary place. This post helps us a lot. Thank you!
Love this. I have my 8 year old asking for Instagram! This stuff is killing me and my soon to be middle schooler wants a phone. Peer pressure has become techie now!