Now just to clarify, my husband was gone for the week for business. I don’t want to give you the impression that it was something more, and that was the best way to say it. We have been married for over 17 years now and this is the first time we have been apart from each other that long. Can you believe it? Neither one of us could either! Well, while this is the first time, I know it won’t be the last time. Honestly, I think it’s a good thing. We both learned so many things and here are some of mine. Enjoy!
While my husband was gone I learned that:
10. I’m the one that’s not a team player anymore. ( Ouch! Somewhere along the line, chores and such have become a list of “you do this and I do that”. That’s not how a team works. I had always been proud at how we worked together and somehow that had become broken. Every job is “our” job.)
9. the waiting is what makes me anxious and angry. ( Why am I waiting? This week I had no help. There was no question as to whether or not I had to drive my boys somewhere, pick them up, or wait for them. So, why do I get anxious when my husband is working and I don’t know if he can help me out? Wow! This was an eye-opener for me. I was not angry or anxious about all the driving I was doing while he was gone as I had no choice. I have taken this lesson and carried it over to this week. I carry on as if I am alone and find it a relief when I don’t have to complete a task. This is so much less stressful. Mindset folks!)
8. even through a snow storm some folks that we helped out and knew I was alone weren’t going to help me out. ( Yeah, I didn’t need you, but you could have asked. That’s okay because karma got them this week. The universe helps those that help themselves.)
7. my husband was right about using the local hardware store instead of a big box one. ( I never understood why he would go to the local hardware store and then have to go to the big box if they didn’t have what he needed. It seemed like a waste of time. Well, I stopped by the local hardware store before the snow storm and they hooked me up! The guy told me I had the wrong shovel, got me a good one that cost less, and then carried the 50 pound bag of salt to my car for me. I was set the day of the storm. I’m sold, even if have to go to more then one store.)
6. my kids can and need to start doing more work around the house. ( They both helped me with the shoveling, making dinner, making lunch, cleaning up, and more. I was so proud of them, but they need to do this more when dad is around.)
5. I take better care of myself when my husband isn’t around. (LOL- I lost 2 pounds! Maybe it was the shoveling or not eating/drinking at night!)
4. even when things are crazy and there are two of us here we need to stop at night and focus more on the kids. (That means putting my computer down and maybe just watching a film or playing a game as a family.)
3. I work better when I HAVE to get things done. ( It’s that edge of stress that drives me. When I know that I can’t push it off till later or to someone else. That’s my zone. That’s where I thrive.)
2. all those time where I felt like it was just me doing everything it really wasn’t. ( I am the one that is here so it might seem like it, but we both do our part.)
1. I am capable of doing great things. ( I think somewhere along the line I forgot that I am a strong and independent woman. It felt good caring for my family and doing tasks that I don’t normally do for us. I know I should be saying that I fell in love with husband all over again, but the truth is that I fell in love with myself. Loving yourself is the best feeling in the world! Plus, the husband’s not that bad either-LOL!)
Shirley Wood says
My hubby and I have been married almost 21 years and are the same way. I still talk about that time I took my Mom on a road trip without him and how much I missed him while I was gone. Reading this makes me wonder in what ways we are propping each other up. My hubby is the same about the local hardware store too.
Reesa Lewandowski says
Wow I am shocked you guys went that long without being apart! Great reflections!
Ashley says
I learned similar lessons when my husband was traveling. He got his dose of it when I was gone. IT makes us both appreciate the other!
Stephanie says
My husband travels 1-2 times a month for an entire week at a time. I have a great routine for when he is away on business but I love spending time with him when he is home. It really makes our time together so important.
Emily says
I think it is good you used the time of your husband out of town to reevaluate what you bring to the table in your family. I know that my husband and I rely and lean on each other a lot, so if one of us is not there for whatever reason we both feel it. It is nice to have that partner I can rely on, and knowing that I am that partner for him too is great!
Bree says
I’m sure that week was very hard on you being away from him but I’m glad it was a great learning experience for you! I think it’s really healthy for relationships to sometimes get time apart- it really opens your eyes and lets you appreciate the small things. When I had to be away from my partner, I definitely realized a few of the same things as you.